you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
God, you're like boner-b-gone
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
