We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
