Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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