I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
