I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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