marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
