Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i drank out of a bidet.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
