i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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