My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize