It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
