When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize