what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
