Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
