Got a toothbrush?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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