I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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