I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Farmville is her only friend.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
