I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
