Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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