Don't make out with my wife yet
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
