This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
