Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
