whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
