lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
