bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
whose ass print is on the piano?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
