Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
