Just mADE A PArabola og urine
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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