I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize