I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
