big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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