to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
