i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
