he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
