Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize