Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
