So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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