fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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