Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
