Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
