my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
