Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
