Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
