Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
