I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
