Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
