honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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