Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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