How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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