you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
