Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
