Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my phone needs a breathalizer
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My feet surprised me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
