Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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