There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
try to milk me bitch
Two words: nipple clamps
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