so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
