After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
