I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I FOUND THE LEGS
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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