Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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