I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize