He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
