He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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