SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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