Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Quick, to the slutcave!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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