His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
