Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so explain again why im purple
no
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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