once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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