Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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