Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
