His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
